Virtual School Kicked My Ass
It is the end of virtual schooling (this year) in Ontario. I’m done. My son is done. All the other parents I know are done. I don’t even know how his incredible teacher has managed to remain positive and creative – it might be an actual miracle. If not a miracle, then a true testament to the power and beauty in education and passionate educators.
A lot of the plans and ideas I had over the last three months have ended up in the same rubbish bin as swimming lessons, in-person shopping and any celebration involving a non-family member. I’m hard on myself at the best of times and during the first few months (of hell) I truly struggled to work with what was before me in terms of resources (time) and energy (parents can attest, virtual-schooling is enough to suck the life out of Snow White). But about a month ago, I let the pressure go – I had to. I was working all the hours that I wasn’t an educational assistant, when I wasn’t working, I was stressed out about not working and each week that I fell more behind in my plans, I beat myself up. Something had to give. Thankfully I have an amazing Coach who challenged me to reframe the way I was looking at things. Safe but not comfortable right? As a Coach I know the best things happen at the edge of the comfort zone – I’m glad I had someone to get me there.
I asked myself, is it the rubbish bin or the recycling bin? Will the world end if I don’t do a blog post for a few months? No. Will by fledgling business fail if I’m not out hustling 24/7? No. Do I run the risk of getting sick or being a bitch if I push myself too far? Yes.
What does the stuff in the recycling bin look like? Some of my plans and ideas will stay in the same form and they will just get updated or adjusted. Some will change entirely or no longer work. But I have the first drafts and that will be enough to get me moving forward again. When I released the need to move forward, staying still felt pretty good. I was better able to focus on my son, on what I did need to complete and on storing energy instead of spending it all at once.
‘Looking for lessons to lessen the pain (thank you Cary Bradshaw), I was struck by my need to be challenged in a safe place, reframe my thinking and give myself the grace to press pause. After 10 weeks of working part time and at nights, things are set to return to normal. But what normal looks like is up to me.
Is there anything you’re struggling with that would benefit from a reframe?