Sea Glass Hunting
I had to fly to the west coast last month. When I go back to the Island there are few places I absolutely must visit as they fuel my connection to both home and I believe, the core of who I am. All of them are beaches. When you grow up on the coast, the saltwater runs through your veins and you know that you can be happy in other places but you will always be happiest near the water with the wind in your hair.
Early one morning I set out for one of those beaches – the one with all the sea glass. I’m a dedicated sea glass hunter and my house is dotted with bowls of glass from around the world, so no trip home is complete without a stop to pick up some treasures. The thing about this beach is, there is no hunting. The glass is everywhere and in just a few minutes, you can fill both pockets and a small bakery bag (many of the other ‘must visits’ are bakeries…). As the sun warmed my back and my neck started to get sore from looking down, I knew there was a coaching lesson in this adventure but it was a few weeks before the full learning revealed itself.
When I started my Coaching journey I was given advice by a wonderful Coach – “Niche down ‘till it hurts”. It made sense in the moment and I was happy for the advice but what I didn’t realize was how hard it would actually be and how much it would actually hurt. As Coaches, we are trained to know that coaching can benefit everyone and we can coach a Physician just as well as a Railroad Conductor – the methodology makes sense and the benefits are universal and know no sector-limits. However, when you start your own business, you also know that you can’t be all things to all people. You really need to spend the time to determine with whom you work best and who will benefit most from the time you spend together and, who will refer you to their friends.
That’s where the beach comes in. When the beach glass requires no hunting, you start to get really picky - only green pieces…only pieces over a certain size…only blue pieces. When I didn’t have to hunt, I didn’t take whatever I could, I was deliberate and specific about what I wanted to keep.
I realized, quite suddenly, that my niche is leaders in competitive industries (typically male-dominated) who want to lead boldly yet with kindness and compassion. I had my head in a bit of a spin about coaching only women when I was asked a beautiful question by my Coach, “Will your practice be complete without men in it?” – the answer was easy – No!
The people I want to coach often feel like they are the only heart at the table and have either tossed aside or are thinking about tossing aside their authentic leadership style as they believe they can’t get ahead if they don’t change to fit the style of others or their organization. Empathy-lead leadership is not gender-specific, but it is a challenge when you feel like you’re the only one that feels that way.
My niche is clear to me now - as clear as glass. This lesson took a few weeks to settle in but once again the beach brought me clarity. I’d been wrestling for quite a while with niching down and I should have known that as soon as the salty wind hit my hair things would begin to clear up.
Do you have a place in which you find clarity?