Lessons from Little Ears

I spend the bulk of my time with a six-year old and one of my biggest lessons from Coach training is to be open to learning possibilities and truly embrace the learner mindset. So once again, I seem to be living coaching lessons through my little guy. The other day, he wasn’t listening to me and after asking him five (possibly five thousand) times to not jump on the couch - he jumped, knocked over my tea cup spilling hot tea all over the couch (not leather). He looked at me in disbelief and then ran to get a cloth. When he came back, he said, “I’m sorry Mum, I should have listened”.  

“You know buddy, your life would be a lot easier if you just listened more.”  

While I fully admit that my learning senses are heightened right now (8 months of intensive learning will do that) - this lesson felt too big to ignore.  

I listened to a podcast last week - Simon Sinek’s “A Bit of Optimism” in which he spoke with Deeyah Khan about ‘extreme listening’ (I actually listened to it a few times) and the most powerful take away for me was how genuine listening is rare and how the act of truly listening and letting someone speak can change minds and change the world. You may be asking, “How can listening change minds”? For me, the answer is simply that most people don’t feel heard and they don’t feel like anyone is listening. When we listen, and allow people to finish speaking or give them silence as a cue to speak more, they speak through their issues and speak in a way that they weren’t expecting to.  They hear their own words differently when they are being heard. 

I once worked with a fellow who said, in a really off hand way, “Most people aren’t listening, they are waiting for their turn to talk.” I found his words to be profound - what would happen for you and the people around you if you really listened and they felt really heard?