Monkey in the Middle

Full disclosure – 40+ years later, I am still feeling the after affects and emotional scars of one-too-many aggressive games of “Piggy in the Middle” (I honestly think things were much more cutthroat in the 70’s) so when my little guy asked if we could play “Monkey in the Middle” on the beach this weekend, I bristled. The Mum voice in my head was telling me that this game isn’t inclusive, and my sensitive little boy might feel hurt by not having the ball passed to him or being the one who misses out. While I was anxious to avoid a melt-down on a crowded beach, my main concern was him feeling as bad as I did so many times in the backyards and playgrounds of my childhood. I hated being in the middle and feeling like the odd one out – it always seemed like an impossible feat to get the ball back and I usually left the game feeling angry and sad – I would literally take my ball and go home.  

But the Coach voice in my head was telling me to be curious and see what happens. It was slightly uncomfortable, but I leaned in and the decided to quiet the Mum voice and let the Coach take the lead this time. Curiosity beat battle-scars and much to my surprise, he loved being in the middle and wouldn’t let us get away with lobbing him gentle throws to the middle – he wanted to catch the ball himself and spent a delightful 40 minutes taking turns and running through the surf for the ball.

I couldn’t help but feel the reinforcement of the coach training around curiosity and non-judgment. I saw his request with my own judgement attached and only when I let that go and allowed for curiosity did I see what he was capable of. He reveled in being the one in the middle and I feel bad now for thinking that he couldn’t handle it (cue the parent guilt). As I go forward towards the capstone of my Coach training at Royal Roads, I will use this reminder from the universe to trust my curiosity and see where it takes me. I saw a silly, wet and giggly real-life example of what happens when you put aside your own judgement and just roll with it. 

What will happen for you if you put aside judgement and let curiosity steer the boat for awhile?